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TED学院 | 7个广州女友凑400万，提前20年造养老房：怎样的房子会让人更幸福？

发布时间：2024-09-23 点击量：

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演讲者：Grace Kim演讲题目: How cohousing can make us happier (and live longer)

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Loneliness. All of us in this room will experience loneliness at some point in our lives. Loneliness is not a function of being alone, but rather, a function of how socially connected you are to those around you. There could be somebody in this room right now surrounded by a thousand people experiencing loneliness. And while loneliness can be attributed to many things, as an architect, Im going to tell you today how loneliness can be the result of our built environments -- the very homes we choose to live in.孤独。在此的所有人，在生命中的某时某刻都会感到孤独。孤独不仅取决于是否独自一人，还取决于你与周围其他人之间的社交关系。此时此刻此地，也许有人与千百人共处一室，却依然感到孤独。虽然有许多因素可能导致孤独，作为一名建筑师，今天我想跟大家聊聊我们身处的环境会如何导致孤独——也就是我们自己选择居住的房屋。Lets take a look at this house. Its a nice house. Theres a big yard, picket fence, two-car garage. And the home might be in a neighborhood like this. And for many people around the globe, this home, this neighborhood -- its a dream. And yet the danger of achieving this dream is a false sense of connection and an increase in social isolation.我们来看看这栋房子。这是一栋美丽的房子。它有一个大院子，围着栅栏，还配备双车库。这栋房子周边的环境可能是这样的。这个世界上很多人都梦想在这样的一个小区里拥有一栋这样的房子。然而梦想成真的同时也意味着虚假的联系感以及更强烈的社会隔绝感。I know, I can hear you now, theres somebody in the room screaming at me inside their head, "Thats my house, and thats my neighborhood, and I know everyone on my block!" To which I would answer, "Terrific!" And I wish there were more people like you, because Id wager to guess theres more people in the room living in a similar situation that might not know their neighbors. They might recognize them and say hello, but under their breath, theyre asking their spouse, "What was their name again?" so they can ask a question by name to signify they know them.我知道，我非常理解，你们当中有人在脑海中大喊，“我家就这样呀，我家周边也是这样！周边邻居我都认识！”那么我告诉你，这太棒了！我真希望能有更多人像你一样，因为据我猜测，这里有更多人生活在类似的环境中，却并不一定认识他们的邻居。他们也许只是点头之交，然而却常常忍不住私下询问各自的丈夫或妻子，“刚刚那个人叫什么来着？”这样才能正确称呼对方以证明彼此是相识的。Social media also contributes to this false sense of connection. This image is probably all too familiar. Youre standing in the elevator, sitting in a cafe, and you look around, and everyones on their phone. Youre not texting or checking Facebook, but everyone else is, and maybe, like me, youve been in a situation where youve made eye contact, smiled and said hello, and have that person yank out their earbuds and say, "Im sorry, what did you say?" I find this incredibly isolating.社交网络的存在也加剧了这种虚假的联系感。这样的场景是不是很熟悉？站在电梯里，坐在咖啡馆里，你抬头张望一番，却发现所有人都在低头看手机。除了你，其他人都在发短信或者刷脸书。也许，你也像我一样经历过以下场景：你跟他人进行了眼神接触，给对方一个微笑并且打了个招呼，却见对方仓促拔掉耳机，说了句：“不好意思，你刚才说什么？”这让我产生了强烈的疏离感。The concept Id like to share with you today is an antidote to isolation. Its not a new concept. In fact, its an age-old way of living, and it still exists in many non-European cultures around the world. And about 50 years ago, the Danes decided to make up a new name, and since then, tens of thousands of Danish people have been living in this connected way. And its being pursued more widely around the globe as people are seeking community. This concept is cohousing.今天我想要跟大家分享的概念就是一种对抗疏离感的解药。这并不是一个新概念。相反，这是一种古老的生活方式。并且，它依然存在于全世界上许多欧美以外的文化中。大约50年前，丹麦人决定发明一个新名词，从那时开始，几万丹麦人开始遵循这种生活方式。世界各地渴望社区生活的人们也逐渐开始追求这种方式。这个概念叫做共同住宅。Cohousing is an intentional neighborhood where people know each other and look after one another. In cohousing, you have your own home, but you also share significant spaces, both indoors and out. Before I show you some pictures of cohousing, Id like to first introduce you to my friends Sheila and Spencer. When I first met Sheila and Spencer, they were just entering their 60s, and Spencer was looking ahead at the end of a long career in elementary education.共同住宅是一种更亲密的邻里关系，人们相互熟识，守望相助。在共同住宅里，人们有各自的私人住宅，同时也共享广大的公用空间，无论室内还是室外。在我为大家展示一些共同住宅的画面之前，我想先介绍我的朋友，希拉与斯潘塞。当我刚认识希拉与斯潘塞的时候，他们年逾六旬，当时斯潘塞在小学教育的漫长事业即将迎来尾声。And he really disliked the idea that he might not have children in his life upon retirement. Theyre now my neighbors. We live in a cohousing community that I not only designed, but developed and have my architecture practice in. This community is very intentional about our social interactions.然而他无法想象没有孩子们围绕身边的退休生活。如今，他们成为了我的邻居。我们一起居住在一片由我设计开发的共同住宅社区，而我的设计工作室也在那里。社交互动，是这个社区的重点元素。So let me take you on a tour. From the outside, we look like any other small apartment building. In fact, we look identical to the one next door, except that were bright yellow. Inside, the homes are fairly conventional. We all have living rooms and kitchens, bedrooms and baths, and there are nine of these homes around a central courtyard. This ones mine, and this one is Spencer and Sheilas. The thing that makes this building uniquely cohousing are not the homes, but rather, what happens here -- the social interactions that happen in and around that central courtyard. When I look across the courtyard, I look forward to see Spencer and Sheila. In fact, every morning, this is what I see, Spencer waving at me furiously as were making our breakfasts.现在，让我带大家参观一下。从外面看来，我们的社区跟其他小型公寓楼区别不大。说实话，跟隔壁楼看起来一模一样，除了这耀眼的明黄色。住宅的内部格局也挺传统。大家都有独立的客厅和厨房，卧室与卫生间，一共有九户这样的住宅，围绕着中央大院。这一户，是我家，而这一户是希拉与斯潘塞家。这栋公共住宅之所以独特，并非因为这些房间，而是这里所发生的一切：也就是在这片中央大院以及周围的社交互动。当我向院子对面张望时，我期待看到希拉与斯潘塞。事实上，每天清晨做早餐的时候，我都能看到斯潘塞热情地对我招手。From our homes, we look down into the courtyard, and depending on the time of year, we see this: kids and grownups in various combinations playing and hanging out with each other. Theres a lot of giggling and chatter. Theres a lot of hula-hooping. And every now and then, "Hey, quit hitting me!" or a cry from one of the kids. These are the sounds of our daily lives, and the sounds of social connectedness. At the bottom of the courtyard, there are a set of double doors, and those lead into the common house.当我们从家里俯视楼下的院子，根据每年的不同时期，我们可以看到这样的景象：一些大人与孩子成群结队的玩耍，互动。院子里充满欢声笑语。很多人都会玩儿呼啦圈。时不时能听到“嘿，别打我！”或者偶尔的哭闹声。这些都是日常生活的声音，更是代表着社会联系的音符。在院子最里面有一扇双开门，从那里进去就是公共大厅。I consider the common house the secret sauce of cohousing. Its the secret sauce because its the place where the social interactions and community life begin, and from there, it radiates out through the rest of the community. Inside our common house, we have a large dining room to seat all 28 of us and our guests, and we dine together three times a week. In support of those meals, we have a large kitchen so that we can take turns cooking for each other in teams of three.在我看来，这个大厅才是公共住宅的核心。因为这里是所有社交互动以及社区生活的开始，所有的一切从这里开始，一直延伸到整个社区。我们的公共大厅里有一间宽敞的餐厅，可以容纳我们28人，包括我们的客人。每周有三个晚上大家会进行聚餐。我们还有一个大厨房与之配套，这样我们每次三人一组可以轮流掌勺。So that means, with 17 adults, I lead cook once every six weeks. Two other times, I show up and help my team with the preparation and cleanup. And all those other nights, I just show up. I have dinner, talk with my neighbors, and I go home, having been fed a delicious meal by someone who cares about my vegetarian preferences.也就是说，总共17个成年人，每隔六周，就会轮到我掌勺一次。还有两次，我会协助我的小组成员们做前期准备或者打扫工作。其他的日子，我只需要出现就可以了。我们共享晚餐，与邻居们聊天，吃完为我精心准备的素食晚餐后，我就能心满意足地回家了。Our nine families have intentionally chosen an alternative way of living. Instead of pursuing the American dream, where we might have been isolated in our single-family homes, we instead chose cohousing, so that we can increase our social connections. And thats how cohousing starts: with a shared intention to live collaboratively. And intention is the single most important characteristic that differentiates cohousing from any other housing model. And while intention is difficult to see or even show, Im an architect, and I cant help but show you more pictures.我们九个家庭，特意选择了这样一种非典型的生活方式。与所谓的美国梦相悖，我们选择了公共住宅，而不是孤立隔绝的单一家庭住宅，就为了能够加强彼此之间社会联系。这就是公共住宅的本意：追求协作生活的共同意愿。而这种意愿才是共同住宅与其他住宅模式不同的地方。虽然意愿这种东西不易察觉，也难以示人，作为一名建筑师，我还是想向大家展示更多图片。So here are a few examples to illustrate how intention has been expressed in some of the communities Ive visited. Through the careful selection of furniture, lighting and acoustic materials to support eating together; in the careful visual location and visual access to kids play areas around and inside the common house; in the consideration of scale and distribution of social gathering nodes in and around the community to support our daily lives, all of these spaces help contribute to and elevate the sense of communitas in each community.大家将看到一些我拜访过的社区，也是这个意愿实体化的例子。通过精心挑选家具，照明及隔音材料，令聚餐体验更好；通过精心设计的视觉效果，来美化公共大厅及儿童娱乐区；通过对社区内部和周边社交聚集点规模和分布的考量，为我们的日常生活提供支持，所有这些空间都能够帮助加强并且提高各个社区内社区精神的意识。What was that word? "Communitas." Communitas is a fancy social science way of saying "spirit of community." And in visiting over 80 different communities, my measure of communitas became: How frequently did residents eat together? While its completely up to each group how frequently they have common meals, I know some that have eaten together every single night for the past 40 years. I know others that have an occasional potluck once or twice a month. And from my observations, I can tell you, those that eat together more frequently, exhibit higher levels of communitas. It turns out, when you eat together, you start planning more activities together. When you eat together, you share more things. You start to watch each others kids. You lend our your power tools. You borrow each others cars.就是这个词，”社区精神"。"社区精神"是个高端的社科术语。在我拜访了80多个社区后，我是这样衡量社区意识的：居民之间一起聚餐的频率。当然，人们间隔多久一块儿吃一顿饭，在不同社区可能完全不同。我知道有些人40年以来每天晚上都一起用餐。还有一些人，每个月会一起吃个一两次便饭。而据我观察，我可以告诉大家，经常一起吃饭的群体通常具有更强烈的社区精神。毕竟，当人们一起吃饭的时候，大家会共同计划更多的活动。当你们一起吃饭的时候，你们分享更多事物。你们会开始照顾对方的小孩，借用工具，甚至汽车。And despite all this, as my daughter loves to say, everything is not rainbows and unicorns in cohousing, and Im not best friends with every single person in my community. We even have differences and conflicts. But living in cohousing, were intentional about our relationships. Were motivated to resolve our differences. We follow up, we check in, we speak our personal truths and, when appropriate, we apologize.尽管如此，就像我女儿经常说的，也不是所有事情都完美无瑕，我也并没有和社区内所有人都成为密友。分歧和矛盾当然也是存在的。但是，在公共住宅里，我们都很在乎彼此之间的关系。我们有足够的动力去化解分歧。大家会随时跟进、更新，我们会说出心里话并且在必要的时候，我们会道歉。Skeptics will say that cohousing is only interesting or attractive to a very small group of people. And Ill agree with that. If you look at Western cultures around the globe, those living in cohousing are just a fractional percent. But that needs to change, because our very lives depend upon it.持怀疑态度的人会说，只有很少一部分人才会觉得公共住宅有吸引力。这一点我同意。在全球的西方文化社会当中，只有非常小的一部分人生活在共同住宅里。但是我们需要改变，因为这对我们的生活至关重要。In 2015, Brigham Young University completed a study that showed a significant increase risk of premature death in those who were living in isolation. The US Surgeon General has declared isolation to be a public health epidemic. And this epidemic is not restricted to the US alone.杨百翰大学在2015年的一项研究显示，生活在孤立隔绝环境中的人们过早死亡的风险显著增加。隔绝已经被美国公共卫生部列为公共健康传染病。而这种瘟疫的蔓延已经不仅限于美国。So when I said earlier that cohousing is an antidote to isolation, what I should have said is that cohousing can save your life. If I was a doctor, I would tell you to take two aspirin, and call me in the morning. But as an architect, Im going to suggest that you take a walk with your neighbor, share a meal together, and call me in 20 years.所以就像我之前所说，公共住宅是对抗隔绝的解药。事实上，我应该说公共住宅是可以救命的。如果我是一名医生，我会建议你服用两颗阿司匹林，然后明天早上给我打电话。然而作为一名建筑师，我会建议大家与你们的邻居一起散散步，试试一块儿聚餐，然后过二十年再打给我。Thank you.谢谢。

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